10 Things No One Tells You About Motherhood

So it’s been 9 almost 10 years since I’ve had a “baby” baby in the house and so I decided to put my .02 cents worth onto the net..;) Enjoy!

  1. The earth shattering, mac truck smacking love you feel for that tiny little moocher the lived in your womb for 9 months making you miserable and ruining your waistline (ok, mine was ruined way before them but it did not help).
  2. Even the strongest of woman is not weak for taking the DAMN EPIDURAL, but if your on the fence, for gods sakes do not think you’ll get an idea from other women’s experience because they are not you and you are not them…even if your related.
  3. Clean freaky people need not apply to motherhood for at least the first 2 or 3 years…sometimes even until they have kids of their own.
  4. You will inevitably feel like you failed and screwed up your kid in the first 10 minutes, get used to it….then get over it by seeking out all the other failed mothers near you, reach out, and life will not be so bad.
  5. With your first child, you will call your Mother, your Mother in Law (if you have one, its okay not to), your pediatrician, and your best friend with the two year old every 10 minutes and the thought of “What The Hell Have I Done!” will and most certainly be a thought in your head while calling said people at 3am.
  6. Being the youngest of three girls, I used to be accused of “getting away with murder” and once you have two kids, you start realizing WHY! There is no energy left, none, zip, zero! Every sneeze, sniffle, fever, or cough you heard from your first child, where you anticipated his or her death at any moment seem to be “It’s nothing” with the second one.
  7. Your second or how ever many children you had will no doubt want the same thing the first child has, kid logic works like this, “He/she’s got one why didn’t I get one”, so you buy the same thing, “But I wanted the purple one”, so exchanging the first item for a purple item you will probably hear “mommy, I want that one instead”, so you buy the item they wanted.  Two days later, the first child is playing with their new toy, “Mommy, how come I didn’t get one just like <insert first child name here>” and melting down is a requirement.
  8. Pet’s will get more affection then you as your kids get older, it’s common sense! Cute, fluffy, softness out rules mean, grumpy, adults who tell me to clean my room when I am watching my favorite show ALL THE TIME.
  9. Two or more kids…well…I don’t think this one needs explaining, except if you take them shopping…one will undoubtedly leave your side and while your trying to get the other one to try on clothes, the whole experience will come with rolling of the eyes, yelling across the store, and forgetting to buy the darn white gloves (because of course we can’t wear the gloves with no fingers that we bought last year)
  10. You will hear “I hate you mom” when you tell your child “No”, it pulls at the very heart and love stated in #1, it makes you feel like you are sooooooo screwing up as a parent.  SUCK IT UP, BUTTERCUP (-my dad) and realize that your job is not to be “liked” it’s to protect this human being that has sooo much to learn still about life and the right thing to do whether or not its the popular thing to do.  😉

That is it for now..;)






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